We went for a nice meal out recently. Although the food and drink were certainly enjoyable, we had some unexpected extra entertainment from the menu.

Perusing the wine menu is usually quite interesting, and we’ve read some quite pretentious wine descriptions in our time. But rarely one as bizarre as this:

Menu description for a Pinot Noir wine, describing it as matching "even a gusty fish disk"

Makes it sound like some kind of Frisbee™.

How about some nice tasty mushroom soup? Er… exactly how tasty would this be?

Menu description for a mushroom soup "simmered with paper and herb"

Time to think about the main course. Everyone loves chicken, don’t they? What about their young?

Menu description for Tiranga kebab "a fresh chicken cubs three color like Indian flag marinade"

We didn’t really fancy the flag marinade. On the other hand, we weren’t sure how much we’d take to the pouggart one either:

Menu description of chicken reshmi kebab "marinated in pouggart"

Not so keen on kebabs, in the end we went for the good old standard – butter chicken. But even this was the subject of some suspense…

Menu description of butter chicken - "on the boneless"

And for variety we thought we’d have something else too. But maybe not the lamb.

Menu description for kheema mutter: "a mince lamb cooked in green peas thigh spicy sauce"

Side dishes were easy enough to come up with. You’ve got to have some nice Indian bread. At least we knew there was no danger in choosing this:

Menu description for cheese kulcha - "Fine flour round safe bread stuffed with chees [sic]"

And how about some onion rings?

Menu description of onion rings: "Ring shape onion with check peas flower deeply fried"

They reminded us of this guy!